Way to Encourage the Grandma, Kiddo!

I think my 12 year old didn't comprehend what we were trying to do here...

 

Shark Bite Capitol of the World

This is what was likely happening...

...as we live and swim in the Shark Bite Capitol of the World.
 
 

Not only was I dying of hunger - that sh*t got EVERYWHERE. My pants, my shirt, my shoes, the microwave, the counter top, cabinet doors, the floor...

 

I'm ok with being the only one...

 

You will ALWAYS be their "Mommy."

My 9 yr old son found his 20 year old cousin getting a card from his mother a laugh riot!

 

And You Thought Your Day Was Crappy...

So, recently my 9 year old's pediatrician ordered a stool test for some minor issues he had been having. 

There are many different noteworthy things that occurred with this gross event, however I will tell you this - when I got to the lab to drop off the sample I was running late for work. While in my car in the lab's parking lot I decided that to make the drop off quick I would have out his insurance card, so that they didn't have to ask. Before getting out of the car I fumbled the card and it fell between the area of my center console and my seat. I couldn't reach it without getting out of the car and sticking my hand down beneath my car seat. I fished around in the depths of the gross areas that a vacuum and normal car cleaning does not happen which seemed to include hidden kid garbage, dried old spills of soda and the track grease from the mechanism that allows my seat to slide back and forth. I finally reached the card and quickly grabbed the specimen and ran inside for the drop off. While standing at the counter at the lab waiting for instructions on where to exactly put the stool specimen the woman on the other side of the counter gave me a strange, disgusted look towards the bag I was holding. I quickly realized she wasn't looking at the specimen, she was looking at my hand that was covered in brownish mystery muck that had gotten on my hand from underneath my seat. Yes - I looked like I was dropping of a stool specimen with poo on my hand.  I quickly, yet futilely explained the dropped card and dirty underside to my car seat. I will likely be the talk of that lab for years to come. I'm not sure how I can hold my head high on any future visits to that lab. 

One would think this would make me go on a diet.....nope.